PEACEFUL DIVORCE POSSIBLE WITH MEDIATION
When a friend was going through a divorce 15 years ago her husband suggested that they go to divorce mediation as a form of dispute resolution in order to resolve property and custody issues. My friend was absolutely opposed to being in the same room with her soon to be ex and refused. Four years later after many hours spent with attorneys and in courtroom battles where decisions about the family's future were made by strangers, my friend was divorced. As a support system for her and other people going through the devastating process we call divorce, I frequently see families going through horrendous emotional and financial distress - distress that may take years from which to recover.
Divorce litigation not only allows strangers to make life decisions for families but also may encourage aggressive behavior and high conflict between spouses. Often the conflict bleeds over onto other members of the family, most often the children. Couples who are in conflict anyway go into high gear when in divorce court. Affidavits are filed telling of grievous actions by both spouses, both parties ask to be named custodian of the children pulling out all the dirty laundary about the other parent and often both ask for a large chunk of the other spouses wages for settlement. Divorce litigation does not encourage cooperative between parties, instead it encourages a win/lose at any cost concept. Divorce does not tear families apart, conflict does.
There is hope for couples terminating a marriage. Divorce Mediation is a cooperative process where parents work together to shape the future for their children and themselves. Mediation works to keep conflict low, encourages a business-like relationship for parents, and helps couples keep children out of the middle. During mediation sessions I hear parents state that they want what is best for their children. In response, I tell my clients in mediation that the best gift they can give to their children after divorce or separation is peaceful, cooperative parenting. Mediation can help.
Divorce litigation not only allows strangers to make life decisions for families but also may encourage aggressive behavior and high conflict between spouses. Often the conflict bleeds over onto other members of the family, most often the children. Couples who are in conflict anyway go into high gear when in divorce court. Affidavits are filed telling of grievous actions by both spouses, both parties ask to be named custodian of the children pulling out all the dirty laundary about the other parent and often both ask for a large chunk of the other spouses wages for settlement. Divorce litigation does not encourage cooperative between parties, instead it encourages a win/lose at any cost concept. Divorce does not tear families apart, conflict does.
There is hope for couples terminating a marriage. Divorce Mediation is a cooperative process where parents work together to shape the future for their children and themselves. Mediation works to keep conflict low, encourages a business-like relationship for parents, and helps couples keep children out of the middle. During mediation sessions I hear parents state that they want what is best for their children. In response, I tell my clients in mediation that the best gift they can give to their children after divorce or separation is peaceful, cooperative parenting. Mediation can help.
posted by OhioMediators at
9:01 AM
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